Taste Tripping

If I was forced to live my life in a film, then I probably wouldn’t choose Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – after all, the poor kid is completely impoverished, and whichever version you watch, Willy Wonka is pretty damn sinister. Plus, that Veruca girl… she’s one seriously irritating little b****.

However, yesterday I learnt of something which quite possibly could change my mind.

On the 3^rd February ‘Taste Tripping’ is coming to London and I’m scrambling for an elusive golden ticket already. Currently gaining popularity in New York as an alternative night out – it’s an event in which people ‘trip’ their taste buds into believing that everything they eat is sweet.

Basically, you’re given a berry (Synsepalum dulcificum – also known as the 'miracle fruit') and told to hold it in your mouth for about a minute. A protein in the berry called miraculin binds with your taste buds and acts as a sweetness inducer when it comes in contact with acids. Lemons, mustard, cheeses, pickles – you name it – will taste like chocolate, honey, toffee and cream cakes.

The New York Times visited one of these parties in Manhattan a few months ago, reporting that one woman took a huge gulp of Guinness and announced it tasted like a chocolate shake, while another had Tabasco sauce dripped onto her tongue and thought it was hot doughnut glaze.

The effects of the fruit should last for a couple of hours or so, but apparently this was too long for some New Yorkers who started to get irate when absolutely everything they consumed tasted different – especially wine which was unpleasantly sweet. At least they didn’t turn purple and blow up like a giant blueberry…

Personally, I think this sounds incredible; eating oysters like chewing gum and sprouts like cheese cake. It could also possibly be used as a diet supplement in which people overcome their sweet cravings by tricking their minds into thinking they’re eating chocolate when really they're munching on celery.

And with no other dangers involved I don’t see much of a problem… unless of course you eat too many and start seeing Umpa Lumpas. In fact, wait – that would be amazing.

Perhaps I’ll stick a few berries in my pocket and find out…

Madame Tussauds (for some reason)
3rd February, 6.45pm

Albannach

There’s something slightly soothing about being in a Scottish restaurant and hearing the person on the table next to you exclaim ‘och, I jus cannae decide!’

Even if the surroundings of Albannach aren’t exactly traditionally Scottish (log-fires and bagpipes must be tasteless these days?), it’s settling to see that a small proportion of their customers are in fact natives themselves. And if you do happen to go on a night when they’re not, just take a quick look at the back-bar – the sheer selection of whisky will catapult you into Scotland before you can say ‘mine’s a Glendiffich’ …

Scottish-drawl and whisky aside, what really draws attention is the menu. Admittedly it’s rather small, but is clearly very well chosen. Starters include rabbit terreine, trio of cured fish (tea and whisky cured salmon, smoked mackerel pâte, sardine esceveche), wild mushroom risotto and a Scottish haddock soup.

The soup was a little disappointing and not half as ‘hearty’ as you would expect from a traditional broth, while the rabbit – being terrine – resembled (and tasted almost like) the inside of a pork-pie. Obviously great if that's what you like, and the latter especially, fitted in very well with the ‘gamey’ aspect of the menu, but on the whole they weren't very pleasant.

The mains however, were everything you would expect from a nation of kilt-clad robust men who aren’t afraid to bare all when it comes to tradition. These meals packed a punch. The steak especially, was massive. The huge serving of Buccleuch ribeye, highland blue cheese dauphinois and crisp shallots was enough to floor almost any diner. The loin of venison, which was presented like duck on a bed of spinach and potato, was equally as generous. Both very well cooked and could only have gone down better if accompanied by the recommended ‘mains’ whisky (if you think you can handle it that is).

After this the desserts proved challenging. However, the chocolate mousee with red-wine figs actually made a light and welcome change. The Border Tart on the other hand was another filling option – dense with short-crust pastry, dried fruits, walnuts and a slight Christmassy taste.

While both were extremely tasty, they were consequently over-shadowed by the cocktails – or more to the point – the Scottish Mojito. The ‘Moscito’ as it’s affectionately known includes Glenmorangie, mint, lime and sugar. And is incredible. Most probably the sole reason that Albannach can afford to have a club downstairs. It’s clearly why everyone heads down there later on…

… If they can still walk that is.


Albannach

66 Trafalgar Square,
London,
WC2N 5DS
0207 930 0066

Yes, Pecan!

Inauguration day '09. Billed as one of the most hitstoric events since the moon landing. If you can trust anyone in the food industry to be celebrating (apart from umpteen-thousand loosely-themed American diners of course) it will be icecream hippies and all round funny-men Ben and Jerry's...

'Yes, Pecan' is the all new presidential flavour.

'Mmmm history'...

Dare to say it? Would you eat Giraffe?

Surprise, surprise, The Daily Mail has been complaining again. This time about the prospect of us eating *gasp* a wild animal. Well, forgive us Mail if we even so much as think about eating something that hasn’t lived its entire life on a battery farm.

At the centre of their attacks is Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, the chef famed for eating anything from bats and squirrels to crocodiles and alligators (which are actually very nice). However, this time they feel he is pushing his controversial boundaries by daring to suggest that maybe, just maybe, he might eat a giraffe.

In Whittingstall’s claims he states “I would not rule out, say, giraffe. They do eat it in certain parts of Africa, if it's killed responsibly”. A fair statement some would say. He is hardly encouraging the slaughter of endangered creatures and is even suggesting that he would not eat the animal if he knew of inhumane hunting methods.

In response, animal rights activist Justin Kerswell, who is campaign manager at Viva! Said that Whittingstall’s actions were “totally irresponsible” and that he had “never heard of anyone eating a giraffe in Africa”. Well, this man is either a misinformed Daily Mail reader of should know his field better – a quick google search will confirm that giraffe is in fact hunted for food and is expanding in numbers in certain parts of Africa.

Now, in no way would I condone hunting endangered or protected animals, but if a giraffe is eaten in certain parts of Africa and killed humanely, then why should a chef – under the same circumstances and whose job it is to teach the public about new ways of eating, be treated like a criminal.

Perhaps The Daily Mail would prefer if we stuck to chain restaurants instead of expanding our palettes. Heaven forbid, it might just encourage us to have a heightened opinion – which we all know is dangerous.

Sod it, lets just be America and have their health problems too.

London’s most ingenious food offer

On one side of the crunch we have the high street, lowering its head and mourning alleged profit losses while still trying to reel us in with extended (although not much different from last year) sales and offers. On the other side we have people like Martin Lewis telling us exactly how we should be spending our money – wisely, and wherever possible, with the aid of coupons.

Coupons are great. They’ve kept housewives entertained since the 50s and nowadays are fighting in our corner against the evil crunch. Pizza Express have come up with the ingenious ‘buy two get the most expensive free’ while other places like YO! Sushi, Strada and Gourmet Burger Kitchen are offering all sorts of significant discounts.

This is fine if you’re the marketing manager of a massive conglomerate with expenses to spend on brainstorming conferences, advertising campaigns, top designers and elusive (yet amazingly expensive) staff briefing sessions.

However, what about the smaller businesses – those that don’t have the cash to inject into voucher promotions? Should they crumble and fall by the wayside just because they didn’t make enough profit from the hungry consumer in the first place?

No. What they’ll do – if they’re as clever as Grazing in London that is – is launch the ‘offer of all offers’.

Basically, Grazing’s ‘offer of all offers’ does exactly what it states. From January 19th to the end of the month they will honour any voucher or coupon from ANY other UK restaurant.

Whether it’s a 2 for 1 voucher from Gourmet Burger Kitchen, a 50% off flyer from Pizza Hut or a free coffee coupon from Krispy Kreme, customers presenting their voucher at Grazing, will be able to claim the same discount.

Very clever indeed Grazing. I salute your wise yet somewhat invisible marketing manager. No money spent on massive campaigns, in fact, it would be fair to say that you are profiting from the endless-expense accounts of the larger chains and stealing their customers as a result. You're the modern day Robin Hood.

And, what’s even better, you're not shy about it. Managing Director, Sam Hurst states:

“as a small independent fish in a big corporate pond, we haven’t got the team of marketing specialists employed by the large restaurant groups, so by offering to match any offer from any other restaurant for the rest of January, we’ve managed to tap into the marketing expertise of our competitors without spending a penny”.

Which roughly translates to… "We're stealing from the rich and giving to the poor…"

Grazing

19-21 Great Tower Street,
London,
EC3R 5AR
0207 283 2932

Kettner's

Kettner's had a tough job – it was here that I was going to break my New Year’s detox after nearly a decade-in-days of no-drinking – what? Don’t judge.

All Kettners had to do was make sure that nothing stupid happened... and keep me away from the champagne. It succeeded with first task and failed with the second – the perfect result. The champagne bar downstairs makes you wonder just how it all might all end but the post-work customers and chilled-out staff are calming... this is certainly no Soho booze-fest (although there’s definitely ample amounts). What you'll findis that the intoxicated crowds on the narrow streets outside pass by surprisingly peacefully, leaving those inside Kettners to sit back and relax – in space. Refreshing for a Friday night near Dean Street.

The makeover of Kettners has been implemented flawlessly. The history is all still there, and while you sit upstairs in yet another one of their stylish areas (this time surrounded by art-deco furniture), you can still feel the pangs of Oscar Wilde and Hemingway and visualise a time when drinking establishments were that little bit more refined.

The French Brasserie menu is also warmly welcomed and it doesn’t take too much imagination to envision Auguste Kettner – chef to Napoleon III who launched Kettners in 1867 – slaving over a hot stove in the kitchen. Meat lovers are well looked after with choices including braised beef bourguignon, confit of duck, pork belly, fricassée of rabbit, rack of lamb, free range chicken and chargrilled steaks.

The rabbit, which actually came with a warning from the waitress, was served as a pasta dish. Her words of caution were just to advise that it’s not served as a whole animal – which apparently enraged some other customers. Personally I think I’d be pretty disturbed by a whole cooked bunny on my plate (the ears might put me off a little). Anyway, the dish had ample amounts of meat, which made it hard to imagine just how fussy or ravenous the other diners must have been.

I managed to conjure up unknown amounts of self-discipline and avoided the meats, opting for pan-roasted black cod with leek & shrimp cake, which was beautifully light and extremely tasty. Balanced carefully on top of each other, it was a delicate meal which combined the flavours of the cod, shrimp and leek very evenly.

It was a strategic move which left plenty of room for dessert. Maybe I wouldn’t have thought about doing this, but the 6ft table of pastries, tarts, mousses, sponges and more (much more), which each diner walks past on the way to their table (marketing plan?), resulted in me coming up with a dining battle-plan. And oh boy, was it worth it. Finishing the Scottish tart – a mixture of fruits, whisky and nuts – felt like a war bravely fought and won.

Kettner's

29 Romilly Street,
Soho,
London,
W1D 5HP

0207 734 6112

Chocolate steak

I like chocolate, and I love steak. Therefore this combination should technically be a match made in culinary heaven. It’s there, definitely. Maybe not stood welcoming people through the golden gates, but it certainly has a firm place in food paradise.

This dish was one of a variety of options at Madame Zingara. For those that didn’t get involved with the hype, it’s a travelling spiegeltent – also known as The Theatre of Dreams – which claims to be ‘the most intimate dinner cirque experience on Earth’.

That, it most probably is. It’s got all the skill and flair of Cirque du Soleil (but on an even smaller stage), mixed with waiters/actors who remain in a sensationalised character throughout the night. Courses are served between a series of breath-taking gymnastic performances and the whole evening is designed to be an experience for the senses. It’s executed to perfection, and even the waiting staff – who at times do become a little too much to bear – can’t distract my attention from the meaty-chocolate fusion.

The chocolate sauce is rich, but not too overpowering. As a fan of dark chocolate this is actually pretty perfect for me. It was runnier than I would have expected, but then again, I certainly didn’t want to see a solid Cadbury’s chocolate bar sat on top of my meal. The consistency of the sauce, mixed with the subtle yet rich flavour worked well with the tenderness of the meat and surprisingly they complemented each other very well. It would have been nice to see what it would have tasted like if the steak was actually cooked with the sauce but nonetheless, at the end of the night when everyone started dancing, I knew what I was celebrating.

www.madamezingara.com

First thing's first

A sushi recipe.

I’ll get this out of the way now. Otherwise it’ll be on my mind each time I write, giving all other posts an unnecessary fishy undertone, which is hardly helpful.

Maki rolls (seaweed on the outside) are a good start for anyone who wants to master sushi making as they tend to be easier to roll. First you should decide what you want inside the rolls and cut the various ingredients into long lengths. I usually use fresh salmon, crab, tuna, pickled radish, pickled ginger, cucumber and avocado.

Then you’ll need sushi rice (short grain as that will be stickier), rice vinegar and sugar.

Wash the rice until the water runs clear as this will remove the starch and make it a lot more manageable. Use slightly more water than rice to cook (1 cup of rice = 1 ¼ cup of water.) Boil the water first then add then add the rice. Turn the heat down after a few minutes and let it simmer for 15 – or until the water is absorbed. Keep watching/stirring gently as it will stick!

Let it cool while you prepare the rice vinegar. You do this by dissolving some sugar into it. Three tablespoons of vinegar mixed with three of sugar is usually enough but add more or either if you think you need it. Add the rice vinegar to the cooled down rice and give it a little mix.

Next up is the rolling mat/seaweed sheets (nori)…

The nori goes shiny side down onto of the mat. Coat the nori with a thin (cm if that) layer of rice, leaving an inch clear at the far end of the sheet. About a third of the way down (from you) create a small groove across the rice. Add a tiny bit of wasabi across the groove if you like things hot. Place the first of your chosen ingredients along the groove using the loose items first and firmer ones last (so they are closer to you, as this makes it easier to roll)

Then roll…

Take care when you do this as the ingredients may spill over each other. The inch left at the end should come in useful if you need to stick the roll together more securely (use wasabi or pickled ginger water). If you want squares or other shapes do this when the roll is still inside the mat. Then open the mat and cut (with a sharp clean knife).

Oh, and try Kikkoman soy sauce on the sushi. It’s the best.

Hello and...

Welcome to I ate London. Home of foodie foibles and quoibles. If it has a menu then hell, I’ll try it. The aim is to honestly review virtually everywhere I experience until my concentration span/patience/waistline gives in. So, here’s to hoping none of them (especially the latter) do. Have a search around and please feel free to leave comments.